You're the only one who doesn't have to try, and you won't have to care.

Daisy and I are fighting. For the first time in sixth months, we are fighting, and there's nothing I can do to make it better. I'm not going to feel bad, and I'm not going to apologize. I have no reason to. She's the one who is too dumb to realize what she needs to do, and how she needs to do it. We'll start with Monday.

Monday: We were at lunch, and we were arguing, and I accidentally said, "You care ten times more for Jordan than you do about me!" and I swear, she almost hit me. She didn't talk to me for two hours, and wouldn't even look at me. Then I e-mailed her. Here's the e-mail:

Hey. I know you're probably not going to read this, because you don't want to talk to me right now, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to come out.  I didn't mean to say the other part, but it doesn't matter, because it can't be taken back. I'm not going to deny it, either. I'm sorry. I don't know if there is anything I can do to fix it, but if there is, let me know.

And then she replies with:

i know how you feel about me and jordans relationship and i cant make you think different thats why i got angry not at you but at me for making you believe that i care 10 time more about jordan then i do about you but its whatever.its in the past.done with.

And then me:

Daisy, don't be angry at yourself. You didn't know that you were doing it, and I don't blame you. You know how I feel about Jordan. And we both know that it's not going to change. I blame Jordan. I blame him for everything. I know that he's your world, and that you really really really really care about him, but it makes me jealous. It makes me jealous that you forgive him so easily, but it takes you a long time to forgive me, and i RARELY have ever broken a promise to you. He does it all the time. And it really aggravates me how you just let it slide like nothing happened. It really hurts to know that you and Jordan are really close, and it only took a summer and a few months to do that. I know something is going to change...it has to change.

 And things have been going downhill since. We started arguing over text, and then when she said,

Jessica jordan loves me okay??he almost cried just cause i didn't hug him once.if he knew he hurts me.idk what he would do.it won't make anything better

 And then I said,

Jordan loves you? What about me? What am ? You know what, you're right. Just drop it. Whatever.

 And then she had the nerve to call me, and doubt that I care, when I have been tearing myself up over this. The phone call ended with her saying, "If I don't care, then why should you? "  and I, "That's a good question. -click-". Yeah, I hung up on her. But because I was so upset that for a split second, I let myself believe I didn't care. Because, let's face it. I do care. Way too much. Anyway, she's not talking to me, and so I sent her this text:

Why are you avoiding this? Daisy, we haven't fought ALL YEAR, and I know that in order to look at the other one and realize what a beautiful friendship we DO have, then we need to get past this. You meant the world to me, and I don't want to lose you. I DO care, and that's why I don't want to do this again. I KNOW I couldn't deal with you outside my life. Please, be that person who showed me that friendship was worth more than just words. Be that person that made me fall in love with our friendship. I will do WHATEVER it take to not lose that. You are such a big part of my life, and I wouldn't trade anything for our friendship. I need you, Daisy. Like the air I breathe, and the sunshine in the sky, and the stars bright gleam. I need you.

And she never replied. But, you know what, if she's not willing to fix this, then I should just let her be. Let her realize that I do care, and that I'm still here for her. I went for a walk, and called Ms. Amy. We talked, and she was right. I should just let Daisy come to me. I shouldn't be chasing after a lost cause. I'm so upset right now, I don't know what to do.

Thanks for listening,
  Jessica or Delilah. ♥