Everyday, recently, I have wondered to myself, "What am I doing?" and I don't have an answer. I don't know what I want for myself, and I don't know what I want for anyone else. I'm not even sure of my emotions anymore. I don't know what I'm feeling. I just feel numb, and empty, and I don't know why. The feeling doesn't go away, and it's really bothering me. I hate the fact that I can't make up my mind about anything. It's excruciating. I don't know what to say, or how to act. I feel empty. Like I'm missing someone or something important. I feel like I want to cry most of the time, and I'm falling again. I'm falling into my deep depression, and I don't know why. Everything, I thought, was going smoothly. I had everything I wanted. Family, friends, and a life. But I don't know why I feel so empty. I wish I didn't. It's killing me. Most of the time, I cry myself to sleep, and I wake up in pain. Emotional. I don't know of anything anymore. I feel distanced from everyone. Especially my closest friends. Mostly Amy, and I don't know why. I feel really bad, and I feel like breaking down. I haven't seen Ms. Amy in a month, and I don't even know what I'm going to say to her, because if she sees me like this, then I'm just going to break. I'm shattered, and no one bothered to pick up the pieces. I wish that I lived somewhere else, and I wish that I had the will power to pull myself together. I am missing so many things in my life, and I don't know why. I feel like a shell. I don't know.
Thanks for listening in,
Jessica or Delilah
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