okay. so, i'm in a hell of a lot better mood. things are better, exponentially. i guess it's when my bipolar kicks in, and i just go down. i need to start taking my medicine again, and that will make things better, but i don't know where it is. another part of me thinks that i need to get a hold of my mental issues by myself, and learn to reign them in. i need to be able to go without meds, because who knows, what if my healthcare gets taken away from me? what then? i won't have meds if i don't have health care. i know, i should take what i have. i really don't want to, though. oh well. (: things are good.
i'm no longer single. i haven't been for a week, almost two. i just haven't posted on my blog about him. he's mexican, and lives in El Paso. He is so sweet, and he's kind, and i know that he actually cares about me, because he doesn't run off when i'm upset. he comforts me, and tells me that he's there for me, and that he loves me. whether he actually does, i don't know, but i know that he cares, and it makes me happy. i'm glad to have someone other than my friends actually give a shit about me. valentine's day will be two weeks for us. ^_^ i think this would be the first time that i'll be taken on valentine's day, and i like it. i told him that all i wanted for my birthday was him. i want him to come see me. i know that maybe this summer, i'm going to him, but it would be the best birthday present to have him there with me. i think i may be falling for him, and i don't know how i feel about that. i know i really really really like him. he means a lot to me, and he's there for me, but what if he leaves me, and i fall in love pointlessly. i don't think i could handle that. especially after 1) bethany. 2) laura. 3) daisy. that's three times that i've had my heart broken, and i don't think i could go through it again.
anyway, i'm in a really good mood, and i'm not going to ruin it.
thanks for listening in,
Jessica or Delilah. (:
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