Okay, so these past few days, I've felt like doing nothing but crying. Like, a full on breaking down cry. I sleep terrible, and I wake up crabby, snapping at my step-mom and my dad. I don't know what it is. It started when we got back from Virginia on Monday morning, and it's carried on through these past couple of days. I just don't know what is going on. I'm really exhausted, and I've been sleeping in most of my classes, trying to catch up on sleep. But it's not working. Hell, I even went to bed at 9:30 last night, and I'm still exhausted. I've been having terrible dreams. Horrible, terrible dreams. Last night, it was about me drowning. The night before that was about my mom dying, and then on Friday night it was about my dad dying. I don't know what is going on in my head to priduce these dreams, but they need to stop. I'm fed up with feeling this "I want to breakdown in the middle of school" thing. I haven't seen Ms. Amy in over a month, and that's no good. I guess I need to schedule na appointment for this week, see if she can get me in. She was supposed to call me last Thursday, but that didn't happen because her phone died and she lost all of her contacts. Which really sucks. I'm just sick of not seeing her on a regular basis. I know that if it was a Dismukes appointment, then they'd have me in there in a heartbeat, and I thought that we had agreed on a sure-thing to see Ms. Amy...but of course, you can't know when my dad is going to keep his promises. He's gotten a little better since I've been home, I guess...OH, and you know what he did!? He took my income tax. MY money that I earned. -__________________- I'm so pissed about that. Those were supposed to go to my glasses, and now I don't know if it's a sure thing that I'm going to get my glasses. UGH. He pisses me off sometimes. I just wish I knew what was going on with me. I know that I've been better since San Marcos, but sometimes I don't feel it...I feel like my heart is falling apart, and I don't even know why......
ON TO SOMETHING ELSE:
I'm tired of whiny people. I'm tired of annoying people. I'm tired of people thinking their life is so miserable, when they obviously have it better than I do. I just wish I could say something to these whiny people, and make them shut the fuck up. It pisses me off, whining. I see no point in it. Whining will get you absolutely nowhere in life. If you whine to an employer, they're most likely gonna say, "Suck it up." Because whining does nothing. Whining about your life, your family, your friends, your relationships, your everything...is quite frankly, annoying, and I don't give out sympathy to whiners. Now, I can see if you have a legit bad life...Your parents hate you, you have no friends, you're being bounced around, and all that, but if you're just complaining that you don't feel good, and that it puts you in a bad mood, don't even bother. It'll just piss me off. Anyway, the bell is gonna ring, so I better be off.
Thanks for listening in,
Jess. ♥
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