30 October 2009

i will break into your thoughts~

i don't know what to even write...i mean, i know i need to write...i just don't know what to write. i guess i'll write the poem that explains exactly how i feel.

Her
by: Jessica Caston

Why can't I shake,
this feeling I can't quake
Something is wrong,
Why can't I be strong?

I feel isolated,
Always hated.
I don't understand,
Why I feel so bland.

She is so far,
waging a war.
That girl I want to be,
Why can't she see?

Someone help her,
I was so sure,
I was so right,
There is no light.

Now I'm blind
The way I can't find.
My life ends.

--------------------------------

Yeah, I know, depressing, but it explains exactly how I'm feeling. I feel like I'm spiraling back down into depression. I kind of feel like I did when I lived with my dad. I don't really know what is causing this, or why it's happening. I don't want to go down this road again. Maybe I should up my meds to 10mg. I don't if that would help, or how it would help, because no matter what, that feeling is still going to be there, but the meds are going to make it bearable. I don't when this is all going to go away. I know that I'm stressed, and I know that's leading my depression, but I need to find some way to cope. I need to find some way to stop whatever is happening.

Whatever. I'm done.
   Jessica or Delilah

2 comments:

  1. I'm so glad that you broke the month. I cant tell you how incredibly happy that made me honey. Seriously. I was so happy I could have cried. We are NEVER doing that again. I cant handle it again.

    Maybe I can help keep you from depression. My sunshine. :) I'm singing to you tomorrow dont forget. :) I love you honey. Forever and Longer. ♥

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  2. After reading this, it really worries me that you didn't answer your phone earlier :( we WILL talk tomorrow, no if's, and's, or but's, okay?

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