So take care of what you ask of me, cuz I can't say "no" to you~

I thought that things were possibly getting better, but I was wrong. Sadly mistaken. Things are not getting better. If anything, they are getting worse. I hate this. I hate everything about it. I miss Daisy. I really do, and I don't know what to do, because I know that if I get reinvolved, then things are going to go downhill again. At least going this way, I know that I can move on, but the thing is, I really don't want to. I want to be friends with her. She is my best friend, and I miss having her. I sent her an e-mail a while back, and I got a reply last night, and it was cruel. I wish I could've cried. I probably would have, if my sister was asleep. It was extremely mean, and it hurt a lot that she would say that to me. I don't understand that when I make a decision that is the best for me, I'm punished for it. It doesn't make sense, and I don't understand. When I try to make a stand for myself, something goes wrong, and I get griped at, and yelled at, and bitched at. It really makes me depressed. I don't like any of that. It makes me sad that when something happens that makes me happy, and makes me a better person, someone has to make me feel bad. Someone has to intercede, and ruin it, and make me miserable. I don't understand this concept at all.

To make things worse, I'm grounded till summer. Not Spring Break. Summer. Spring Break IF I'm lucky, which I'm not, so summer. I thought that this summer might be a good one, that I might be able to drive by then, but no, I'm not going to be able to. I still get my car in May, apparently, so we'll see how that goes. It would be nice to be able to drive to school, and do things that I want to do without having to be carpooled. Things are going to be okay. I just have to keep my head up, and do what I need to do. I was going to say to hope, but I can't hope anymore, because every time that I do, it gets crushed, and I end up disappointed. So, no more hope. I'm just going to have to do everything in my power to make my life better. With or without Daisy.

Thanks for listening in,
  Jessica or Delilah ♪♫