i don't even know how to start this blog post. i just know that i need to write, and that i need to talk about everything that has been going on in my life. things have been getting slightly better, every once in a while, i'll hit that brick wall that makes my emotions go everywhere. if you didn't know, a few months ago, my mother and i got into a physical altercation, and CPS got involved. i now live with my father, and what not, and things had been getting slightly better between me and my mother. CPS closed the case recently, and now the detective from the police department has to check-up with me. the gist is, my mom is probably going to be on probation, or sent to prison. my mom found out that this was going to be happening, and told my sister and one of, who i thought, my really good friends. it started out with the posts about me, saying how i was a horrible person for doing this, how i started the fight, how it was all my fault...from Abbie. The person I least expected it from. I looked up to her so much, she was a good model for me...and then I read those, and I realized, she was just as bad as Alyssa or Christina. I couldn't believe that she would do that. I was hysterical. I loved Abbie. Like a great friend. We had so much fun together. I'm going to miss her. But it's not my fault that she has been brainwashed by Chris. After I read those posts, and had finished being in awe, I looked to Christina's page, only to find that she had removed me as her daughter. Talk about a slap in the face. I have officially, by her, been disowned. I had a feeling that it would come to this, but it hurts. Knowing your mother doesn't love you, because of something that wasn't your fault. People can blame me for it all they want, but I know it wasn't my fault. These aren't the first abuse charges against my mom. Neither are they the first complaints or issues. This has been going on for years, and she's finally getting what she deserves. But because of that, I have lost a mother, a sister, and a confident. I know that I'm going to lose more as it progresses. Things will never be the same. It's tough. But I know that I'm going to get through it. I have support. Even from Sabrina. She's looking out for me, and it's unlikely, but it's there. I have my amazing friends. Amy, Laura...I don't know what I would do without you guys. You mean so much to me, and you have never let me down. I'm so glad that you're there to back me up, and help me through. Of course, I couldn't do this without Ms. Amy. She has always been there, and I don't care what anyone else says, she's great for me. I couldn't think of anyone better that I would trust with my secrets, and life. Thanks, guys. You're my world.
Thanks for listening in,
Jessica or Delilah ♥
No comments:
Post a Comment