For a while now, I haven't been taking my medication. Because I hate them. They make me feel sick. They restrict what I'm allowed to eat and drink, and they cause heart problems, and I'm not okay with this. I've been wondering what it would be like if I was on my medication. I don't know. This is going to sound really stupid, but I feel like I'm doing better without them. I'm not really depressed anymore. I've been kind of happy, and I really don't know why. I have no reason to be happy, but I am. I am slowly forgetting my mother, and that shit, and I've just been happy. I had a emotional episode last night, but it didn't drag onto today. I was happy when I woke, like, it was as if my heart was lit up and I was able to breathe and be worry free for a little bit, and I really enjoy that feeling. I haven't had any major mood swings, or depression episodes, and it makes me happy. Even with the not seeing Ms. Amy in over a month, it doesn't bother me. I've just been in high spirits, and I'm definitely not complaining. I'm seventeen, as of May 16, and it makes me happy. Just one more year, and I'm gone. I can't wait. I want to see my best friend, and I want to get away from Texas. I'm so excited. I officially become a senior in 4 days, and that realization hasn't hit yet. It'll hit this summer and in the fall when I'm applying for college and SAT and things like that. A lot has to be done. I'm going to be spending a shit load of money this next school year. I may skip out on Prom again, just because it's just drama full. So I may skip that. I need to start think about costs of graduation stuff. Senior pictures, cap and gown, plus getting my car, and drivers liscense, but I'm REALLY hoping my dad will help me out, because I won't have enough money to spend on all of that. Holly is graduating too, and I know that they're going to spend more money on hers than they will on mine, which is fine, that's the way it's always been. But I've been good. :)
Thanks for listening in,
Jessica or Delilah.
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