Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars ?

Been almost a month again. I just don't have consistant access to a computer anymore like I used to. I don't know what led me to write this blog post, but I felt like I needed to write, and get some stuff off my chest, so here I go.

My dad kicked me out a couple of weeks ago, so I'm living with Martha, a friend of mine, since I obviously can't live with my mom. It's rough. It's really rough being out there on your own. I don't know how I'm going to do it. But this is what I wanted, isn't it? Didn't I say that I hated living with my dad? This is what I wanted. But you know what? I wish it had been under better circumstances. It pretty much was a fight with Sabrina, and my dad taking her side, and kicking me out. Then Sabrina writes me a three page note, saying she didn't feel comfortable with the threats I made against her and her house. It pissed me off. To no end. I was so furious. I threw the note out of the window as we were driving down the street. Probably stupid, but what else was I supposed to do? I didn't want it. To make it worse, my dad didn't know about these "threats" that I made. First of all, I didn't make a threat. To her or anyone else. Ugh.

I've been with Billy for almost two months. It'll be two months tomorrow!! ^_^ i love him. i really do. he's so sweet, and we always have something to talk about. ALWAYS. no matter what it is, even if it's the dumbest thing ever, we still talk about it. It makes me happy having someone like that. That I can talk to about ANYTHING, and we laugh about it for hours. It makes me happy. :)

I'm also confused about a lot of things. I'm confused about college, and senior year, and my relationship. I don't know if I really want to go to New Jersey for college. The main reason I would've moved to New Jersey and go to college there, is just to be close to Amy. That's pretty much it, and I don't want that. I want to actually go to a college for my major, and I know that Kean has good programs, but I want a school that specializes in theatre. AND pyschology. I don't know. I don't want to hurt Amy's feelings, but I also want to do what will make me successful and able to go out into the real world and be able to say i have a couple of major's. I'm confused about senior year. I mean, I may not even be going to Hirschi. I've been talking to dad about moving up to Oklahoma with my friend, Shayla. Which would be great. I would love it there, I really would. I just don't want to be imposing. I don't know. My relationship....Where to begin? I love Billy. I mean, I really do. But I've been thinking more and more about someone else, and it's making me feel bad. I need to forget the other person, and focus on Billy. I can get through this. *sigh* I guess I'm done ranting.

Thanks for listening in,
   Jessica. ♥