goodbye, my almost lover.

So I officially hate my life even more. I didn't know that it could get much worse, but it has. My darling father and his bitch are sending me to San Marcos Treatment Center. Yeah, aka MENTAL INSTITUTION. I fucking hate this. I know that it'll really help me, but is it really worth the trouble of me going away for a few months? I don't know. I just wish that he hadn't brought bitch into the choice. She's fucking biased as it is. Of course she wants me away. She hates me. Just another thing to steal my father away. Ugh. I hate my life. So much. Why didn't I just commit suicide when I had the chance? I don't know, but I wish I had. I won't do it now, not when I'm so close to finishing high school and getting out of this shithole. Things will get better, right? They always get better.

So, I'm still with Billy. :) That's one of the only things that makes me smile. Knowing that we're still together. Although, I haven't talked to him in a while. I love him. :) 

Maybe I'm just a dramatist. I make a big deal out of everything, and it's stupid. *shrug* I don't know. I don't know a lot of things these days.  Everything is a blur. Like, I'm really not there. People go on with their lives, and I'm just invisible. Nobody really pays any attention to me. They're always concerned with their lives, and when we talk, it's all about them. They ramble on and on and on about something or someone or an event or something. I barely say two words. I nod my head, and smile, just like I always do, and nobody seems to see past the mask.


Sometimes, when someone says they love me, I'm always hesitant to say it back because I'm scared. I'm scared of what would happen if I let someone love me. Anyway, I'm just stupid.

Eh, bye.

Thanks for listening in, 

  Jessica.